Installing random Java tools you'll never use...
Installing even MORE random Java tools...
Done
Loading approximately 7 braincells...
Loading 0% complete
Loading 100% complete
Successfully failed successfully
The cheese has escaped
The cheese has been located
Never mind
The cheese escaped again
Cheese containment integrity: 0%
Deploying emergency cheese response team...
The cheese is approaching rapidly
DO NOT LET THE CHEESE REACH THE REACTOR
Where did the cheese go
Checking if the compiler escaped...
Compiler located
Compiler escaped
Summoning backup compiler...
Compiler found hiding behind the JVM
Compiler is emotionally unavailable
Compiler has filed a complaint
Compiler is on vacation
Compiler refused to elaborate
Compiler was replaced with a potato
Downloading more RAM...
Download failed successfully
Installing Fabric...
Installing Fabric API...
Installing more Fabric...
Installing even more Fabric...
Fabric Fabric Fabric Fabric Fabric
Gradle has requested emotional support
Bribing Gradle...
Gradle accepted the bribe
Negotiating with Gradle...
Gradle negotiation failed
Talking to the JVM...
JVM responded "no"
Feeding the JVM...
JVM is satisfied
JVM has become sentient
JVM has requested a raise
Java has become sentient
Java is questioning its life choices
Java is loading...
Java forgot what it was loading
Java detected more Java
Consulting Stack Overflow...
Answer marked as duplicate
Searching Stack Overflow...
Found 37 conflicting answers
Loading Minecraft...
Loading another Minecraft...
Loading another another Minecraft...
Checking for Herobrine...
Herobrine found
Ignoring problem
Checking for creepers behind you...
Don't look
Rendering potatoes...
Rendering more potatoes...
Rendering even more potatoes...
Potato overflow detected
The Ender Dragon has requested a refund
Villager tax evasion detected
Villager IRS has arrived
Convincing creepers to be friendly...
Negotiations failed
Zombie successfully promoted to manager
Skeleton missed every shot somehow
Enderman stole your blocks
Pig escaped containment
Cow.exe has stopped mooing
Chicken launched into orbit
Bee union has gone on strike
Loading approximately 12 axolotls...
Axolotl approved
Steve misplaced the world
Alex found it again
The Wither is behaving suspiciously
The Warden heard that
The Warden knows your location
Please ignore this message
Please stop reading the logs
The logs are reading you
If you're reading this, it's too late
This message is intentionally useless
This message intentionally contains no useful information
This startup message was sponsored by absolutely nobody
Achievement get: Confused
Achievement get: Mild Concern
Achievement get: Read The Logs
Achievement get: Wasted Time
Warning: Warning warnings may contain warnings
This warning is completely harmless
Pretending something went horribly wrong...
False alarm
Continue spinning
Everything is perfectly fine
Probably
Definitely maybe
Loading chaos...
Chaos loaded successfully
Generating bugs...
Bug generation complete
Destroying bugs...
Could not find bugs
Found more bugs
Repairing reality...
Reality repair failed
Reality repair succeeded anyway
The simulation is stable
The simulation is unstable
The simulation forgot what it was simulating
Please wait...
Still waiting...
Still still waiting...
Done waiting
Error 418: I'm a Minecraft
404 Braincell Not Found
404 Cheese Not Found
404 Herobrine Not Found
403 Access to braincells denied
500 Internal Potato Error
Initializing quantum chickens...
Quantum chickens initialized
Counting sheep...
Ran out of sheep
Locating common sense...
No results found
Looking for motivation...
Motivation not installed
Searching for missing semicolons...
Found none
Searching for missing motivation...
Still searching
Building terrain...
Terrain refused to build
Building more terrain...
Terrain successfully unbuilt
Checking system integrity...
Integrity has left the chat
Generating random excuses...
Done
Rolling dice...
Natural 1
Rolling dice...
Natural 20
Spinning up the Beyblade...
Spin velocity nominal
Maximum rotational velocity achieved
Charging Beyblade...
Beyblade fully charged
No way! Just B E Y B L A D E already!
Game Crashed! maybe B E Y B L A D E before playing
Minecraft has been certified silly
Please do not the Ender Dragon
Please do not the JVM
Please do not the cheese
Your GPU has requested emotional support
Your CPU blinked
Your RAM is thinking
Your SSD is zooming
Linux approved reluctantly
Windows is confused
macOS looked the other way
The void is expanding
The void has been patched
The void has escaped
Void containment failure
This startup message was chosen randomly
This startup message chose you
You were not supposed to see this
Nothing suspicious happened
Definitely not hiding anything
Absolutely nothing went wrong
Something went wrong
Something went right
Oops
Oops 2
Oops 3
Oops 4
Oops 5
Oops 6
Oops 7
Oops 8
Oops 9
Oops 10
Congratulations!
You have successfully launched Minecraft instead of crashing it
Go touch grass
Welcome back
Good luck
Have fun
Goodbye
O-O-O-O-OH MY PC--CC-C-C-CC-CCCCC
THINK FAST *BANG*
DONT check out bedrock edition
please touch grass
hi
hi
hii
uh
h
a
a
aa
a
a
a
a
a
a
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
a
Game Crashed! go touch grass you freak
imagine not having a girlfriend
skill issue
ERR_TOUCH_GRSS
LOGGER.fatal("braincells have vanished")